The Mom Your Way pearls of wisdom continue, with one of our favorite excerpts in the whole book -penned by our very own Mommy’s Bliss CEO, and fellow mom, Yasmin Kaderali.
This is “Your Identity” – and how it pays tribute to who you were, who you’ve become, and how you bring the kid you were into the parenting equation today. We never realized that raising a family actually can translate into re-raising yourself. We love the concept and all of its good and sometimes rough edges. And again, we love this chapter of the book. Thank you, Yasmin.
“In a lot of ways, you also give birth to a new you and are raising yourself not only to be a mom, but to be the best version of yourself for you and your baby.”
(The following is an excerpt from Mom Your Way)
Did you know you are raising yourself too?
Sometimes becoming a parent triggers feelings in us that we didn’t know were there or sad memories that have been pushed deep down inside since our own childhood. Say what now? Yep. This may be true for you or your partner. Of course, it may depend on what kind of upbringing and parenting either of you had. Having honest conversations is important so that both of you are aware of historical family baggage that can come into play when you least expect it. These conversations also allow you to call it out and look for support to break those nasty negative cycles. It may make you or your partner nervous to dive in, but whenever you can, it will be worth it. And you might not know it’s an issue until it is, and then it’s crucial to address it.
Unfortunately, having kids can trigger us in unexpected ways, especially when your children are the same age at which you or your partner may have experienced trauma. It’s crucial to face this as honestly and therapeutically as possible.
My partner and I had very different childhoods, but we aligned on what kind of parents we wanted to be. We aligned on the qualities we wanted to emulate from our parents and those we wanted to avoid to try to break a negative cycle.
Here are the three topics we talked about to get to a place of empowerment around the way our childhood baggage could impact our parenting. Use this also as a prompt for you to reflect on your own experience.
In a lot of ways, you also give birth to a new you and are raising yourself not only to be a mom, but to be the best version of yourself for you and your baby. This is not easy! From my six years’ experience of being a mom, I had no idea that I would also be learning so much about myself. Kids are like a mirror, and sometimes we don’t always love what is seen in that reflection. Not to mention all the “OMG . . . I am acting just like my mom” moments you’ll probably experience, which can be a good or a bad thing! If you had a challenging childhood or suffered trauma in the past, finding a great therapist can do wonders not only for you, but for your children and your partnership too.
Visit MommysBliss360 often for more pearls, laughs and commiseration from Yasmin. And if you love to hold a book in your hand, “Mom Your Way” is available right here on mommysbliss.com. Make room on your bookshelf and reach for it whenever you find yourself wondering if you’re doing it right – spoiler alert - you are.
This site is intended for informational purposes only and does not provide medical advice. Please consult your physician or other health-care professional.
