“The trickiest part of this time and the decisions you have to make is that things have changed drastically in your life."
(The following is an excerpt from Mom Your Way)
You may be super ready to go back to work and excited. And nervous. And sad. Then you think, Wait—maybe I don’t want to work. Maybe I can negotiate for part-time. No, I can’t handle the baby full-time. But maybe I can and will love it. I have to work—we need the money . . . but how much is childcare? Hmm. This is your brain on “new baby,” or at least how mine was!
All these emotions are typical. And yet we also have to recognize there are so many individual circumstances—single parents, divorce, children with special needs, new circumstances from COVID, etc.
You may not know how you want to spend your time just yet and whether your preference can be reality. Start the conversations now with your partner (or yourself) about finances, the cost of daycare, and what all the scenarios look like, and then go from there. Remember that nothing is permanent, so if you head in one direction but decide later you want to change course, you can. You just have to feel empowered to be the mom boss that you are.
The trickiest part of this time and the decisions you have to make is that things have changed drastically in your life. There are new things to weigh out and think about:
- If you are in a relationship: Are we both on the same page about income and whether we both do/don’t need to work?
- What is the new monthly budget?
- Did I work before and love it?
- Do I feel obligated to return to a prior job, or do I want to?
- If I need to find a new job, how long will it take to find work?
- If I could work from home, would this change my desire and/or ability to work
- What would childcare look like if I were to work? What is the cost for full-time or part-time?
- How can I think creatively about the next six months?
While my brain was spinning on what the return to work would look like, I knew I was returning to Mommy’s Bliss because I loved it and, in all honesty, I needed it—the community, the mental stimulation, the financial security. I also had the privilege of flexibility and of having my husband bring the baby to the office for occasional feedings and kisses. As fortunate as this was, over time it got harder emotionally to see my baby in the middle of the day and then get my brain back into work mode for three to four hours.
The bottom line is if you love working, own it! And if you love being home, own it! And if you like a little of both, own it! This is your journey. And while you may feel judged by others, it’s your own judgment of yourself that you can change.
Visit MommysBliss360 often for more pearls, laughs and commiseration from Yasmin. And if you love to hold a book in your hand, “Mom Your Way” is available right here on mommysbliss.com. Make room on your bookshelf and reach for it whenever you find yourself wondering if you’re doing it right – spoiler alert - you are.
This site is intended for informational purposes only and does not provide medical advice. Please consult your physician or other health-care professional.
